Tart, yet flavorful and subtley succinct…Wait.


It happened again. Yesterday, at work. I was explaining how to set up a winter aeration kit to a fellow and his wife, and the guy suddenly asks me “what’s your degree?” The extremely off-topic question caught me off guard, and I hesitated, then responded “Environmental Studies.” He then says “just curious. I’m an important-something-to-do-with-language-skills-and-foreigners-person and your speech is excellent. You speak quite clearly and succinctly (my word of the day) and would do great at this kind of job.”

…I almost laughed at him.

But instead I thanked him and told him I’d heard that before. And then I finished my explaination of the aeration system, only it was difficult because I was consiously analyzing my voice in the background. That’s the problem with getting told you’re voice is succinct; you start to think about it and try to pick up on what they’re pointing out, except by listening for it, trying to speak as if you weren’t thinking about it…Yea. You see where I’m getting at. Kind of like observing the atom. Observing it changes the outcome.

Professor Farnsworth (at the (robot)horse track):

“Damn you all, you changed the outcome by measuring it!!! (throws his ticket down on the ground)

Personally, I think it’s the lack of “uh’s” and “uhm’s” that have become akin to punctuation in spoken American English. But seriously, too many intelligent old people keep commenting on this. I’m going to look into this and see where my seductively succinct diction could get me.

Ok, that’s just wrong. Don’t even comment Mr. Carrot.

Categories: Uncategorized

7 comments

  1. The managers at the radio station told me the same thing, that i talk better than most of the people they have heard.

    You and i should have a radio show, where we just talk about pointless crap, so the people who apparently like our voices can get their money’s worth.

    IT WILL MAKE US RICH I GUARANTEE IT

    • Actually?

      I think the both of you would make a wonderful radio pair, doing exactly what you’re talking about.

      Somehow, these things sell these days. A team of brothers will work even better, because the listeners will “know” that when you both start with the verbal jabs, this happens “all the time.”

      I know what sells. No, really. Okay, maybe not.

  2. it would pretty much consist of him and i calling each other stupid and making vague threats while i make hilarious references to the internet.

    actually that does sound like a good radio show

    • It would definately sell if you through in a few comments about the current state of things, and made fun of the Administration, no matter who was in charge of the Administration at the time.

      It’d sell even better if you both had differing views on the subject.

  3. I know a few places it could get you bu… oh wait, Im not supposed to comment am I?
    -grinning carrot

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