Since I’m done with everything I had planned for work today, and I’m somewhat bored, I thought I’d throw this out for ppl to see…The WotC forums have some hilarious threads geeks like us (me) would like…

Witty Remarks and Quotes

“In the Star Wars RPG, I had a Force-sensitive bounty hunter that attempted to justify his actions to the GM to avoid being slapped with a Dark Side Point. All I could come up with was “It was an experimental weapon. It was a bottleneck hallway. What was I *supposed* to do?” It didn’t work.”

101 Cliches

“A “Smart” half-orc…”

101 Uses for a Dead Goblin

“29. A good friend for your paranoid ranger that is camping in the woods by himself.

Ranger: So I was hunting today and I found this really big bear…..
Dead Goblin:…………..
Ranger: and I was getting ready to shoot it with my arrow and…..
Dead Goblin:………………..
Ranger: WHY DON’T YOU TALK BACK TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

1001 Most Out of Control Epic PC Actions

35. The Epic rouge moves silently and hides and succeds to sneak attack HIMSELF.

43. An Epic Ranger makes a Spot check and sees his player.

50. Epic level paladin who slays his deity for being “unfaithful to his moral code.”

616) Epic level barbarian finaly discovers the PROPER use of all those different forks at a banquet.

659) The epic rogue can use sleight of hand to palm an item larger than him/herself and effectively hide it without being seen. Like a bus.

660) The epic fighter specializes in using other people as a weapon.

704 – The Epic Infiltrator wakes up one morning and realises he’s everyone in the town he lives in.

705- The Epic Ranger is down to choosing “butterflies”, “kittens” and “puppies” as enemies, because he’s run out of anything else even remotely threatening.

1,001 Bestowed Curses

“You become invisible, except for your brain.”

“You become a hamster. Size reduced to diminutive (unarmed strike becomes 1d1, +4 AC, +4 melee bonus, melee weapons shrink with you and become d1 weapons, better weapons can be made but must be masterwork and cost 10 times normal, move speed reduced to 10 but can be carried in someone’s pocket or on someone’s shoulder with no weight penalty, automatically critically fail all intimidate checks, retain speech abilities but voice shifts several octaves higher, +20% arcane spell failure, -8 to strength, +2 dexterity, +2 to charisma, weapon finesse is denied to this species.”

Categories: Uncategorized


  1. 834: There once was an epic level monk named Bright
    Who could travel much faster than light
    He left one day
    In a relative way
    And returned on the previous night

    820. Epic Wizard tries to dispel his runaway Timestop, but the epic bored and tired DM tells his player:

    “Sorry, but you’ve already gone back so far that you’ve forgotten how to cast that spell, so you can’t dispel it. Fortunately, the effect soon ends by itself…

    (pauses, looks at watch, checks that route to exit is clear)

    “OK, then – does everyone have their original sheets from when you first rolled up your characters? Because here we go again!

    “You’re walking down a dirt road, feeling a strange sense of deja vu, when a kobold seems to jump out of nowhere and bars your way. He seems quite confidant….”

  2. i refuse to belive, no matter what leval he may achive, that Drekk will EVER learn to use a fork. let alone more than one.
    -confident carrot

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