Silly Human Logic…

I just got a phone call while typing this that illustrates one of my main…Frustrations…I have with people. The insta-fix obsession. Long story short, the woman was wondering whether a dual filter system would clear up her pond, as she is having brown water issues. I asked her the standard set of questions, “how big is your pond,” “how many fish,” etc, and came to realize that she was way overfeeding her fish and explained to her…Four times…That if she cut down her feedings, she would not need to spend $200 on a new filter unit. And it went in one ear and out the other. “So you think this new filter would clear up the pond, then?” “Sigh…Yes, yes it will.” “How late are you open till?”

It’s just like the guy who calls with 40 fish in his tiny pond and wonders why its pea-soup green…I tell him he has too many fish, and then he asks me if there’s something he can just pour into the water and make it better. I say (again, actual conversation) “yea, there IS Algaefix, but it just a quick-fix and you’ll just have to buy more, and oh, by the way, it IS toxic. You could also spend $150 on a UV-Sterilizer system and an additional $90 on the pump to drive it. UV-Sterilizers blast the incoming water with radiation that kills any free-floating algae cells and are pretty much 100% effective, we recommend them for any pond over 600 gallons. Or you could just lose some fish.” “Great, I’ll be right in, what time are you open till?” Consumer-ism at it’s finest…I’m too good at what I do. I used to feel bad about being such a good salesman, but not anymore. Give em what they want. No one wants to treat the problem, they just want a magic bullet to make it all better. Weight-loss drugs are a prime example. Never mind just putting down the fork…Just try Asian Stink-Weasel Extract! You take it and you lose 20 pounds a day while eating what you want! And then you DIE from liver necrosis…Sexified!!!


Categories: Uncategorized


  1. Where can I buy this Asian Stink-Weasel Extract you speak of?

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