Seems Americorps might be getting further attention on all fronts. Not at all a bad thing, I think. The program was excellent; I’ve been giving thought to going back E-Corps: Austin for another year after i return to the states to raise some more $$…And if there are even further benefits for joining, say, a larger ed-award, or even more pay, its even less of a no-brainer.
And on that note, Happy Earth Day! I spent my Earth Day morning concerned I was having a heart attack…I had just gotten off the phone with my mom and was finishing breakfast at the monastery when the left tip of my right index finger abruptly went numb…Which is rather wierd…I rubbed it, slightly concerned by it, and decided to take a shower and monitor the sensation…Part of the way through my shower, a pins-and-needles sensation went through my hands, and as I quickly dressed, up the rest of my arm. I stepped out of the shower, and considered having the other person at the monastery drive me into town and as I did so, my chest went tight and my heart started beating intermittently. The pins-and-needles went to numbness and it was rather scary, frankly. No chest pain, no loss of control or true panic, though, and it went away after about 20 seconds. I knocked, told Blake I was headed to the doctors, and drove myself into town.
No incidents on the way…The doctor saw me pretty rapidly, since I was, after all, having a potentially life-threatening condition. He clamped my finger to a device that measured my blood oxygen content and said it was at 100%, which is a sign that I was having a panic-attack. Which I immediately dismissed, mentally. But they put me through an ECG anyways, noted my pulse was quite low (in a good way), but my blood pressure was slightly high. I told them that it’s tested consistently high for the past two years but every doctor I’ve been to has never been too concerned by it.
The doctor is still convinced it was a panic attack…Which annoys me to no end. I mean ok, I can see how it could be one, but I know myself better than anyone, and I’m not one to panic. Especially when I don’t have anything to panic about, which, according to him, doesn’t seem to really matter. I might have had a panic attack due to the onset of the numbness, which I mentioned to the doctor, but that doesn’t mean everything’s A-ok. But I had to accept that they did the tests and have to go by what the results indicate. And they are doctors and I’m not.
Elevated blood pressure, history of heart palpitations, creeping numbness, family history of diabetes and health problems. I’d be slightly more concerned if I was a doctor. If I die, do say I told him so! But in all seriousness, I’m not too concerned at the moment (which is why I know it wasn’t just a panic attack!!!)…Mostly because I think there may be some truth to his assessment. The symptoms I was looking for came up almost as soon as I thought about them. I was concerned about numbness spreading, and it did. Then I started checking my heart rate and looking for shortness of breath and it came up. Mind-over-matter, of sorts. There’s a placebo-like name for it that I can’t think of at the moment, but it’s a real medical phenomena…