I had a great weekend, overall…I almost didn’t after having a rather lackluster time before, but I decided to go out clubbing Saturday night. Last time, I pretty much stood by myself near the dance floor without talking to anybody, had some drinks and then felt buzzing enough to go out on the floor, but the music wasn’t all that great and there was no one to talk to (comfortably), so I ended up heading home rather disappointed.
Although I almost stayed home and prepped for my D&D game for Sunday, I decided to give it a shot, hoping for as great a time as I’ve had once in a long while. And I found it this time! Firstly…Not sure if it was my haircut or my new shoes, but I ended up getting hit on. A lot. Which is just nice for the ego, I suppose. I admit, I was looking to find a little something (and would have found it, if not for a guy’s meddling friends!), but simply being told "wow, you’re cute!" is nice to hear. Not attaching to it, or anything, but who doesn’t like hearing that, even if you’re not interested in that person? In fact, I learned quite a bit about club etiquette last night; a guy offered to buy me a drink because he liked me, and although the conversation wasn’t really gushing forth, I was rather surprised that he simply walked off without saying a word and disappeared after buying me a drink. That happened a lot that night, so I decided it was more an outward symptom of the fleeting interests many guys in the scene have; they’re looking for that easy score; otherwise they just keep on moving. Which is fine with me; he wasn’t that attractive anyways.
So Rain was so-so but wasn’t really feeling the groove, so I went next door to Oil-Can Harry’s. They were having their 20th Anniversary there and had black lights set up and were giving out glowing multicolored rings to everyone who walked in the door which was kinda cool. Got me one, and then pa roused the bar for a bit, watching some table dancers do their thing, though they really weren’t very hot in my opinion it was interesting to watch (it’s all about smooth and skinny in both the straight and gay communities and that’s just not very sexy). I actually found it difficult; my mind is still not comfortable with simply being gay, I suppose, so I made it…Well…A meditation. Yes, that’s right. I made watching table dancers a meditation; I’m just that wierd. So I noted my aversion and traced it back to its source; discomfort with what I’m watching vs. what my subconscious says I should be watching. Guess I still need to work on my self-esteem, but it was a great learning experience, though not very sexy. But then meditation rarely is.
I left Oil Can’s in short order, and decided to try Kiss n’ Fly up the road. Usually I prefer the Elysium on 8th, but it was very cold last night so I decided to stick around the gay strip rather than walk a distance. And it turned out Kiss n’ Fly was hopping that night, and with a very interesting crowd. Nearly right off the bat, a very obviously drunken…Well…Kid…Walks up to me and starts conversing with me well within the bounds of my personal space (I suspect that’s a general feature of clubs irregardless of orientation) about random stuff. He was 19 turning 20 that night. Yea. So he starts going on and on about his time here in Austin and eventually puts a hand on my belt as he’s talking, which I decidedly removed to let him know how interested I was and managed to ditch him without feeling too bad about it. Some balls, though! I don’t think I could ever do that, no matter how sure I was that someone was interested in me; that’s just not how I was raised…
Eventually I did hit the dance floor after meeting two interesting and cute guys who introduced me to an even cuter fellow named Kevin who was entranced by my height (and a little drunk but bubbly drunk, not sloppy-irritatingly drunk) and we grooved out to some techno rhythms, some 80’s pop, etc…The DJ was amazing that night and after having a few I was feeling confident enough to not only grind along but counter-grope as the night progressed. Kevin kept getting pulled away by some buddies of his who seemed somewhat disapproving of me but kept pouring drinks down his throat but would seek me out on the floor and dance more while saying "I can’t believe you’re so tall, that’s so hot, etc…" But eventually his friends kept him away but that did not stop me from doing my thing and having a grand time for a change.
So long story short, it was nice to go out and do normal human things for once and not feel totally awkward about it. It was a nice confidence booster; I usually don’t like hanging around on the gay scene unless I have friends to keep me company because I never know what messages I’m sending talking to people in clubs or bars. Nothing happened with Kevin and I; he disappeared at some point during the night and I was having too much fun dancing to try overmuch to find him but he seemed to be a regular so maybe I’ll see him again at Kiss n’ Fly.