Dialogues with My Lonesome


"Thanks for the whirlwind coffeehouse tour last night…I gave yesterday some thought during the day, though and while I enjoyed chatting I’m not feeling any chemistry for anything physical or overly emotional. Chatting over drinks sometime again and hanging at the rock wall is just fine though. (though it’ll have to wait till later; after tomorrow’s run I’m gonna be near-broke for a bit until my next paycheck). Just didn’t want to send any of the wrong messages with the kiss last night; you were sweet but that will probably be the only one."

With Metta,

~ E.

Direct, without being rude…Considering it was a single date, there should be little emotional investment, so its not too harsh. Have to psychoanalyze every word and cross-check it with the mental picture I have of Robert in my head to try and gauge how he will perceive my response, thus influencing future interactions. Frankly, I don’t care to meet him again; he was nice, but there was no spark of interest, just interesting conversation, and that’s not overly rare. But I don’t want to be a total dick and tell him to jump off a cliff. I hate making people read between the lines, though, too…But these sort of things require a certain…Delicacy. Because he WAS really nice; excitable, and who knows, maybe if I gave him another chance I would genuinely like him…

But I know he’s looking for something far deeper than I’m willing to give. Not gonna lead him on and make things difficult. Better to be upfront right off the onset. Why am I so picky…Because I did not date through all of teen years and I’m independent to a fault. But is that a bad thing?…Depends on what you want, I suppose. Be happy to be alone, or make some compromises. Can’t have it both ways.

Meh. Sending the note…He’ll get the idea.

Categories: gay, musings, UncategorizedTags:

2 comments

  1. That is a very nicely-written, well-worded letter considering the situation. I had to do something similar recently and it looks as though our letters are almost the same. Mine went over fine, though there will probably never be any hanging out in the future, so hopefully yours goes over well too.

    Good luck.

    And being independent isn’t a fault. Not in my book anyway.

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